Psychic Jokes – Page #1

These jokes are specifically about psychics in general and psychic practices.

Click the titles to show/hide the answers.

1. How can you tell if a psychic is influenced by "retrograde"?
2. Why did the psychic drink a carton of orange juice?
3. What's the difference between a psychic and a psycho?
4. What's a psychic's favorite movie?
5. What's an ill psychic's favorite movie?
6. Why was the psychic reader so angry?
7. Where does a blind psychic go for his "Sight"?
8. Did you hear about the psychotic psychic?
9. Why are the psychics in chatrooms like breakfast cereals?
10. Conversation
11. What's the difference between a pizza and a professional psychic?
12. What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievement?
13. Why did the psychic eat plenty of vegetables?
14. Why is a drained psychic like a bicycle?
15. Why did the psychic take his time meditating before conducting a reading?
16. What is the difference between a builder and a psychic?
17. What do you call a psychic prostitute?
18. Where do fortune-tellers go to dance?
19. Why do people visit psychics?
20. What did the blind psychic say to his girlfriend?
21. How did the seeress obtain her psychic abilities?
22. What’s a Mexican psychic’s favourite drink?
23. What do you call a female psychic with ESP and PMS?
24. Why did the male psychic wake up in hospital?
25. Why was the psychic reader forced to sit on the toilet for a long time?
26. How did the drunken psychic talk to spirits?
27. What's the difference between a psychic and a drunkard?
28. What was the name of the famous psychic who liked going skinny-dipping in the evenings?
29. What did the psychic say after his kite accidentally touched a powerline?
30. Why are the parents of toddlers psychic?

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