These are jokes and puns relating to astrology, specifically sun signs and how each will react to certain situations. Whereas Astrology tells the future using dates of birth and the Chinese Zodiac uses years of birth, the Corporate Zodiac determines a person by their job title.
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The laziest of all signs and often referred to as "Marketers without a degree", they are self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls them and begs to take their money, they will try to avoid contact with customers so that they can easily concentrate on the "bigger picture". They seek admiration for their golf game throughout life.
Unable to control anything in their personal life, they are content to completely control everything that happens at the workplace. Often, even if others do not understand their jargon, it is written that the geeks shall inherit the Earth.
One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is believed that engineers place ninety percent of all personal ads. They can be happy within themselves: their office is typically full of the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets and gimmicks. However, their “carpal tunnel” is the root cause of all of their problems.
They are mostly invulnerable to office politics, being the only other sign to have studied in school. They are the most feared person in the organisation because of their ability to extract money where none exists. Combined with their extreme organisational skills, the majority of the rumours concerning them revolve around Accountants being insane.
Ironically, given access to others’ confidential information, they tend to be the biggest gossipmongers in the organisation. They are possibly the only other sign that does less work than marketing for less money and they are unable to return calls because of haircuts, lunch, mailing letters or other errands.
They are catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless and are often destined to remain at their current jobs for the rest of their lives. They are unable to make decisions, as they tend to measure worth by the number of meetings they schedule. This sign is best suited to marry other Department Heads, as everyone in their social circle is also a Department Head.
These signs are essentially the same as Department heads, but their inner social circle only includes other Senior Managers because they like mingling with the higher echelons of the organisation, pretending to be someone important, but instead coming across as arrogant and pompous.
Bright, cheerful and optimistic, this sign are still a fifty-cent cab ride from taking their own lives. As a child, very few actually asked their parents for a small cubicle and headset in their rooms so that they could pretend to play “Customer Service”. They are continually overlooked for promotions, unless they agree to sleep with their managers.
This sign is the hardest to understand, since they are fickle and manic. While they appear as being a friend, they will formulate their own opinions based on specific information given, then will modify it to suit their own needs and desires to elicit more money.