These are jokes and puns relating to astrology, specifically sun signs and how each will react to certain situations.
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Pagan Sun Sign Prayers
"Dear Goddess, help me accept change, but not too quick."
"Dear Goddess! Who is Goddess? Where is Goddess? Why is Goddess?"
"Dear Goddess, please make us perfect and don’t mess it up like you dod the last time!"
"Dear Goddess, please help me to be decisive, but on the other hand, what do you think is best?"
"Our Mother, an it harm none, even though they deserve it!"
"Dear Goddess, if I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Help me stop exaggerating."
"Dear Goddess! I’d like to ask you to help me, but I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else!"
"Dear Goddess, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!"
"Dear Goddess, as long as I am going to drink this fifth of scotch tonight, please use the stimulation in your honour."
—Found at Psychic Jokes