These are jokes and puns relating to astrology, specifically sun signs and how each will react to certain situations.
Click the titles to show/hide the answers.
Which Pet Suits Which Sun Sign?
A turtle – it¹s slow-moving, doesn¹t need a lot of attention, and won¹t compete with its owner for food.
A talking parrot; need I say more? Well, of course I do, but…
Anything, as long as it needs to be nurtured.
A big, bold, ferocious feline, as long as it doesn¹t compete with its owner¹s place in the sun.
"Let’s see, I have to get up at 7:30 to feed it, let it out at 7:45, at 10:00 I need to go to the grocery store to pick up three cans of food, which will cost $3.86, including tax!"
"Hm, good question. On the one hand, a dog is active, affectionate, and companionable. On the other hand, a cat is pretty independent and won¹t require as much time and attention. Oh, I don’t know. What would you do? Are you sure?"
"A cat. Secretive, mysterious, and unpredictable? What¹s there not to like?"
"A horse, of course! Let¹s hope it¹s got enough stamina to keep up with me."
"Do I have to pay for it?"
"A hamster. First, I¹ve got to set up a detailed cage with tubes going from here to here, and an energy sensor—they don¹t make anything like that? That¹s okay, I¹m sure what I come up with will be much better."
"A Fish. When their owner forgets about them for weeks on end, they¹re easy to replace – IF Pisces remembers to replace them, that is."
—Found at Psychic Jokes