These are jokes and puns relating to astrology, specifically sun signs and how each will react to certain situations.
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Sun Sign Prayers
"Dear God, please help me accept CHANGE in my life, but NOT YET."
"Yo God (or is it Goddess?)… Who are you?… What are you?… Where are You?… How many of you ARE there? I can’t figure you out!"
"Dear Daddy, I know I shouldn’t depend on you so much, but you’re the only One I can count on while my security blanket is at the cleaners."
"Hey, Pop! I’ll bet you’re really proud to have me as your kid!"
"Dear God, please make the world a better place, and don’t screw it up like you did the last time"
"Dear God, I know I should make decisions for myself. But, on the other hand, what do YOU think?"
"Dear God, help me forgive my enemies, even if the b*****ds don’t deserve it."
"OH ALMIGHTY, ALL-KNOWING, ALL-LOVING, ALL-POWERFUL, OMNIPRESENT, EVERLASTING GOD, IF I’VE ASKED YOU ONCE, I’VE ASKED YOU A THOUSAND TIMES – HELP ME STOP EXAGGERATING!"
"Dear Father, I was going to pray, but I guess I ought to figure things out for myself. Thanks anyway."
"Hi God! Some say you’re a man. Some say you’re a woman. I say we’re ALL God. So, why pray? Let’s have a party!"
"Heavenly Father, as I prepare to consume this last fifth of Scotch to drown out my pain and sorrow, may my inebriation be for Thy greater Honor and Glory."
—Found at Psychic Jokes